How to Sell Me Stuff

Like most people, I buy stuff. Sometimes I buy via the Internet or in a retail store. Sometimes I buy from a salesman on the phone. If I could send a message to all phone salesmen, I'd say, here's how to sell stuff to me over the phone:

First of all, if you are making a cold call, never ask me how I am doing. You and I both know that you don't give a hoot how I am doing, other than that I am well enough to hear you and perhaps buy something from you. The fact that I answered the phone establishes that I am that well.

I would like to know your name and your company, so tell me that when we start. Speaking of names, don't use my name over and over. "Steve, I have a fantastic offer for you today!" "You know, Steve, our research indicates that the veeblefetzer market is going to explode in the next 24 hours, and Steve, you can get in on it right now!" Yuk. That tactic does not create rapport. It makes you sound like an idiot and it irritates me.

And don't be so damned enthusiastic. I don't care about your excitement or your opinion. I suspect you would lie to me if you thought you could make a sale. Just tell me the facts and the price. It could go something like this: "This is John Smith from Bob Thomas Ford. We have several 2006 Ford F-150's that we are offering below factory invoice. Do you want one?"

See how easy that is? Just tell me what you are selling and ask if I want it. I know what an F-150 is, and I know if I want one. I don't need to make an appointment with you to drive one or discuss it. Don't waste your time or mine. Simply ask me if I want it.

If you are selling something I am not familiar with, I may ask a few questions to find out if I want it. I may ask what it does or what it costs. If I don't ask, don't tell me. Don't try to educate me about it or persuade me of its merits. Just answer the questions I ask - nothing more. If I want to meet with you, I will ask. If I don't ask, don't try to sell me an appointment. It won't work. Not now. Not ever.